Devastation without emotion

Devastation without emotion.

How is that even possible?

Yesterday my Aunt passed away.

To say I am devastated would be an understatement.

One of few people in the world who truly understood me.

She had this unique ability to show empathic understanding without being in my physical presence.

Just receiving the occasional text message meant so much.

Even just a few words in a message, spoke volumes.

She always knew the right thing to say.

She was like a mother to me and I feel like I have nobody left in my family now who genuinely cares about me. Not like she did.

She supported me throughout my mental breakdown and never once judged me!

Always telling me how proud she was of me.

Always telling me she loved me and cared about me.

I’m hurting bad.

Devastated.

Like someone has ripped out my heart.

I’m in pain, but at the same time I’m emotionless.

I can’t accept that it’s happened and I don’t know how to cope.

She was who I would go to when things like this happened. Nobody else.

All I want to do is text her and ask her what I should do next.

What should I do next my dear Aunt?

But I can’t…

The only comfort I can take, is knowing you are at rest now and no longer in pain.

The most caring and loving woman I have ever known.

Gone but certainly never forgotten.

Rest in peace x

 

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4 Comments

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss my friend. In these hardest of times, I’ll pray that you receive any wisdom you shall need. Sometimes there can’t be replacements, but I’m here in any way I can help. Finding a few or a community of others that can also empathize can be key to getting you through hard times. I’m especially thankful for those people I’ve had to look for in my life.. One day at a time buddy, don’t hesitate to reach out if you would like to..

    – Ricky

    Liked by 1 person

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