This is a hard subject for me to discuss, and I know I’ve touched on it before. I almost feel bad for thinking this way, but over the years it has become more and more evident that people who say they get it, really don’t! When I say “get it”, I obviously mean mental health.
I won’t point the finger at specific people, but I am certain if they ever read this they will know who I am writing about. This isn’t just friends (so called friends), but even family too.
I’m sure I share this mindset with most people who are living with a mental illness. One of the hardest things to do is talk about it. Trying to explain to someone who has absolutely no experience with mental health, (for me) always feels like an impossible challenge. This mainly roots back to the way I have been treated in the past. Being made to feel like I am weird or odd for feeling the way I did. Living with an anxiety/depression disorder is absolutely exhausting. It can literally drain the life out of you. To a point where a lot of sufferers contemplate the unimaginable, because they feel like this is the only way out!
Now try and explain this to someone who hasn’t been through it… It’s hard. Really hard.
One of the best examples of this was 7 or 8 years ago with my so called best friend. I wish I could sweep it under the carpet and move on but I feel so let down and disappointed by this person. The frustrating thing is that the person in question had actually lived with someone his entire life who suffered from extreme agoraphobia – something I have battled against for the last 10 years (on and off).
The last thing he ever said to me was:
“I do get it mate. Remember I have lived with someone who has shut them self off from the world for many years. I know what you are going through.”
I haven’t heard from this person since. A few year ago, I found out that he had told someone I worked with that he hadn’t seen me in a long time, and that I had turned “a bit weird”.
This came from my best friend. Someone who said they got it. That they knew exactly what I was going through.
You didn’t get it. If you did, where the fuck are you now?… (mate)
When it comes to my family, it’s pretty much the same as above.
One comment that rings out in my head is:
“I get what you are going through love. Just pick up the phone and talk to me about it.”
If only it as that straight forward. To be able to, just pick up the phone and talk about it.
One of the things I struggle with most, is feeling like I am being a burden on people. Everyone else has their own personal problems to deal with. They don’t need my shit to deal with as well. That is my mentality and why I find it so bloody hard to talk.
That is why they just don’t get it!
I’ve read a few really inspiring stories recently and a huge part of their recovery, was to allow themselves to forgive others for wrong doing. The truth is that these people in my story don’t understand how wrong they have been, or how they bad they have made me feel. If you don’t know that you have done wrong, then how can you ever accept forgiveness in the first place?
This for me is the realisation, that most people just don’t get it at all…
I think I am probably going to sound like I’ve been having a bit of a whinge and moan in this post, but I feel like it’s something I have needed to get off my chest again!
A problem shared, is a problem halved…
Let me know your thoughts on this post. If you’ve enjoyed reading it, have look back at my previous posts and give me a follow. Any comments and likes are always welcome 🙂
Mr F x