I haven’t been as motivated to blog recently. Think I took a bit of a kick in the teeth after my last post. Don’t ask me why because the stats actually say it was my most popular to date! I am over sensitive… That’s my problem. I take things to heart. I don’t take criticism or compliments well. So as a reader, you have no chance of pleasing me!!!! Ha ha!
Anyway, back to today. Exercise? My new found medicine? Ok let’s do it…
Well it’s as simple as the headline says = ‘Exercise is my new found medicine’.
I have just got back from a session with my personal trainer and the endorphins are flowing through my body. You cannot better that feeling when you are fighting against a mental illness. Probably why I am able to sit here and write this post…
Today we walked 5.5 km with 10/12kg loaded into my PT’s old army backpack. I live by the sea, and we walked down to the harbour and back. Walking along the cliffs, then up and down the steep inclines and steps. Pretty tough going, but SO rewarding! If you could bottle up this feeling and sell it, you’d be filthy rich. I’d go as far to say, you’d drastically help many people suffering from mental health problems.
Back in May 2018 I had ballooned to 135 kg. (That’s roughly 21 and a half stone!)
My recent weigh in showed that I have lost nearly 5 stone in weight. I now weigh around 106 kg. (16 and a half stone.)
I feel incredibly proud of myself for doing this. Thats a huge weight loss! I am still wanting to lose another couple of stone, but I’ve introduced weight training into my programme now. My PT said the weight might not fall off as easily now, because I am increasing my muscle mass, etc etc…
More than anything else in this entire journey, it has improved my mental health. I am now at a point when I know a good workout on my treadmill, or session in the gym is all I need to improve my mood. It really is that simple. (well for me anyway!)
I spent many years of my life, literally sinking into the sofa. Watching TV, playing video games and eating junk food. The furthest I’d walk, would be to the front door to check for mail, or out to the garden so I could let my dogs out. I was very much stuck in my comfort zone. When I was at home, I was safe. Anything beyond these four walls was unimaginable. I was trapped and comfort eating to survive. Hence the major weight gain!
Getting out of this awful mindset, was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. At the time I felt like I was the only person in the world who had ever felt this way. I felt like my brain was going to explode. I wondered how I could ever explain this illness, because nobody has ever been here before.
Well guess what? Turns out I am not the only person to go through this! In fact, it’s actually quite a common thing these days. But no matter how many times someone tells you that it’s going to be ok, you still feel like you are the only person in the world suffering.
So getting back to the topic of discussion here… Ha ha!
One day something inside my brain just clicked. It was literally like someone flicked a switch. I had to make some big changes. I had to fight this disease, and get my life back. You could say, I had to steal back my life, from anxiety and depression. Because they had hold of it and I wasn’t ready to give in. And believe me I almost gave in on several occasions. BUT (and there is always a BUT!), I took the bull by the horns and took control of my life again.
I remember sitting there one day and thinking, “This isn’t me. This is not how my life is supposed to be. This is not the life I am prepared to live, which is going to make me truly happy again.”
Well the rest is history.
The first thing I did was join a gym through a referral by my GP. That’s where I first realised how much weight I had piled on. 135 kg!! Pure horror and disgust hit me hard on hearing this!
I slowly got into some very steady cardio workouts. Once or twice a week at a push. This alone was huge for me. I was not only going to the gym, but I was interacting with real human beings again. I was mingling with the general public. I was being a normal person again?!
A few months in and the weight was falling off. I was eating healthy and even started walking my dogs more often. This was around the time when I first contacted my personal trainer.
We started out with two sessions a week and since then I feel like I have more purpose in life and goals to achieve. I now know that if I don’t lose weight or improve my fitness each week, I am not only letting myself down – but my PT as well!
Since I started training with my PT, I am now looking to workout at least 5 times a week! The last couple of weeks I have trained 6 days a week. It’s like I have a bug for it now. I’ve even joined a new gym where my trainer actually works. With his extra guidance and new equipment to use, I can really push on with my progress!
You can see from my weight loss transformation picture, that the hard work is paying off.
As I mentioned already – I still have a long way to go! I want to get into the best shape of my life. Not only physically, but mentally too. Every time I train, I feel improvements and that’s the most important thing. I feel my confidence growing and my mindset becoming clearer and stronger. I feel focused and determined to achieve my goals.
For anyone reading this who is trapped in a dark place, and feels like they can’t get out, or change for the better – You can. But only you can make the changes. Nobody else. I never dreamed I could get to where I am in under a year – but I have! I am living proof that it can be done.
And this is why, exercise quite literally – saved my life.
Mr F x
If you have a bad day today, remember – there is always tomorrow! You are never alone in your battle.
I’d love to hear from you if you have any feedback on this post or maybe you can relate to it in some way? Drop a comment and please like and share! Also, please give my blog a follow if you like what you read. Many thanks.