Who would think I would have read this and instantly thought , “yep that’s what I did with my parents…”
I tortured and punished myself for years wondering why my parents treated me so different.
Why did they make me feel like an outcast at any family/social gatherings.
Why did my father, get off on belittling me and making me look like a fool in front of people.
Why did he compare me to his friends sons who were doing better things than me in life.
All be known , the reasoning behind it was some telltale lie that rooted back to when I was about 10/11 years old! I won’t go into the details, but the accusation was a mystery to me up until a couple of years ago.
How can you punish your child for over 20 years, over something they know nothing about?
How can you make them feel like they are the worst kind of human being to grace the face of the earth?
I don’t “need” you in my life – constantly making me feel so low every time I see you. Maybe thats it? Maybe you want me to actually “need” you in my life? Well I’m sorry but I don’t.
That’s the difference between me and “them” – I don’t “need” you. I’m doing just fine.
So no more making me feel like I’m hard to love.
I’m supposed to be your fucking son.
You should love your child regardless of what they have or have not done.
It’s been 2/3 years now since I saw them last, and I have no regrets.
My life is better without them, and I am so much happier than I have ever been.
Yes I nearly gave up on life during my breakdown. But I didn’t. Because I am strong.
You can live in denial if you want and point the finger at me for as long as you want. You know you’ve done wrong. That’s why you chose to disown me.
I’m not hard to love.